ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
