That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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