my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
