she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
50% drunk capacity currently
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
