im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
