I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
