from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
