and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize