i may or may not be watching the land before time
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
