Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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