is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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