He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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