how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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