D3 body, D1 cock
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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