brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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