she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
