is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
