Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I FOUND THE LEGS
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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