dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
