I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Mom said you looked used
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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