I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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