we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
