the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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