Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
