and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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