So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
