Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
