I have demons in me.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize