i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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