hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
