turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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