i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Help me help you realize you are a moron
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
