I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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