I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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