Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
