Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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