Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
