OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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