I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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