I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
