Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize