If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
