So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If i come over, it means nothing
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
