the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
