Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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