In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
