I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
