There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
