she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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