Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
