im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
