Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
