can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
