operation harelip BJ is a go
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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