Buhtt sex?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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