I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
