I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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