i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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