do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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