I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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