Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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