WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
please don't ironically join a cult
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