Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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