everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
