that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you didnt know i had herpes?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
