I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my sisters under your porch take her home
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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