you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
