he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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