Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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