...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
