who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
