Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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