Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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