$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
These tits shall not be calmed
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
