Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
