I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize