I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
